Remarkable World Commentary Episode #99: Ask Advocate Donna

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In this instructive episode of Remarkable World Commentary, the second July installment, and an edition of her recurring “Ask Advocate Donna” segment, host Donna J. Jodhan turns listener questions and stories into a hands-on lesson in everyday advocacy. She opens with a favorite quotation about speaking and listening so others love to do both, then runs a word game contrasting paired terms: passion (being animated and taking action) versus compassion (understanding, sympathy, and empathy, a quieter, silent agreement), and care (proactive) versus concern (reactive).

She then works through three listener-submitted scenarios, asking in each what advocacy looks like, who gets involved, why it’s necessary, how, and when: a waiter who refuses to serve Mike because he has a dog; a boy, David, in a wheelchair who is passed over for snacks at a birthday party while his sister notices and questions the servers; and Bonnie, a vision-impaired long-term-care resident with a mental disability whose caregiver refuses to serve her meal and walks away from her daughter’s question. Donna’s throughline is that advocacy starts with the person affected, or someone standing in for them, like a daughter picking up the mantle, that silence is not an answer, and that you get involved when something directly affects you. She invites listeners to keep sending questions and stories, and signs off until August.

TRANSCRIPT

Podcast Commentator: Greetings. Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, and MBA invites you to listen to her bi-weekly podcast, Remarkable World Commentary. Here, Donna shares some of her innermost thoughts, insights, perspectives, and more with her listeners. Donna focuses on topics that directly affect the future of kids, especially kids with disabilities. Donna is a blind advocate, author, sight loss coach, dinner mystery producer, writer, entrepreneur, law graduate, and podcast commentator. She has decades of lived experiences, knowledge, skills, and expertise in access, technology, and information. As someone who has been internationally recognized for her work and roles, she just wants to make things better than possible.

Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA: Greetings, everybody. And I am Donna J. Jodhan, your host for the Remarkable World Commentary podcast. This is my second episode for July, and it is all about Ask Advocate Donna. I continue to receive a lot of requests from people asking me different questions and submitting stories to me, and I want to thank everybody for this. So what is Ask Advocate Donna all about? It is all about really trying to have you get into the mindset of advocacy, and giving you examples as to what or how you should react based on a certain situation. The situation is submitted to me by listeners, or sometimes I choose one of my advocacy stories out of my huge memory bank. Okay, so let me start with my favorite quotation: speak in such a way that others love to listen to you; listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.

Donna Jodhan: Okay, we’re going to kick things off with a word game. I like this word game, and I developed this word game to really get people to start thinking about advocacy and using words to help people do so. So here we go: passion or compassion. When we find ourselves delving into any sort of advocacy adventure, there are two things that really raise their head, and they represent what we might want to think about: passion or compassion. When we show passion, it means that we are really animated about something and that we really want to take action. This is what passion is all about. Passion — taking action, understanding, and helping others. It is a passion for us to galvanize ourselves into action. Compassion is when it is more of a docile type of way of looking at things. Compassion is when we have an understanding, when we have sympathy, when we have empathy. So the difference between passion and compassion: I think passion is when you take action; compassion is silent agreement or silent understanding. Passion versus compassion.

Donna Jodhan: Okay. Care or concern is the next pair of words that I’m going to talk about. Care is when, again, you really care about what’s going on, and it may galvanize you into taking action. This is what caring is all about. Concern may be a lesser degree of caring. You’re concerned about something, but are you really going to do something about it? Care may be more proactive; concern may be reactive. But that’s just my opinion. I’d like to hear from you. Please write to me at Donna Jodhan, donnajodhan@gmail.com. Okay, so let’s delve into our stories now. They were submitted to me by listeners, and I want to hear from you after we talk about these stories.

Donna Jodhan: First story is that of a waiter who refused to serve a customer with a dog. Mike had gone to his neighborhood restaurant for the very first time. It was a new restaurant. He entered the restaurant and was seated in a very small booth. He tucked his dog under the seat and waited for a few minutes. Finally, a waiter came by, and on seeing Mike’s dog, he told Mike that he would not be serving him. What would you advise Mike to do? Just say, ‘Okay, thank you very much,’ get up and leave? Would Mike become angry, upset, and seek action from not just the waiter, but the manager? There are two very specific alternatives here. Either Mike would get up and leave, upset, disappointed, and sad, and nothing would be done — he would just get up and leave, take what the waiter had said to him — or would he push forward and seek audience with the manager? What would you do? What would you advise Mike to do?

Donna Jodhan: Okay. Advocacy is when Mike would decide to seek the attention of the manager and explain what has just happened. This is what advocacy is all about, and who gets involved in advocacy. Mike starts the ball rolling with getting involved with advocacy by approaching the manager, and by having a reasonable chat with the manager. And why is it necessary? Because his rights have been infringed upon. He’s been told he’s not going to be served because he has a dog. That’s why it is necessary. And how does Mike get involved in advocacy? Mike approaches the manager, first of all, and it depends on what the reaction is from the manager. He would then choose to draw others into it, other like-minded friends and family members. And when to get involved in advocacy? Well, when something directly affects you, that’s when you get involved in advocacy.

Donna Jodhan: All right, let’s go to story two. So what do we have here? A boy in a wheelchair was not given any snacks when he attended a birthday party. Very sad, but very true. David had gone to a kid’s party, a birthday party with his friends. Everyone was being served with snacks, except for David. And when David’s sister noticed what was happening, she asked, why was her brother not being served with snacks? She asked two or three people, two or three servers, why was this taking place? And no one would answer. What would you advise David and his sister to do? Again, you could take the easy way out: David and his sister would simply leave the party and go home. Or you can choose to stand up — David’s sister to stand up for her brother David, to stand up for his own self, right? Again, it is no shrinking into the vines and just leaving, or standing up and making a point of what is going on.

Donna Jodhan: David is not being served snacks, and his sister notices and draws the attention of two or three of the servers. But nobody says anything. So she’s wondering, or she might want to wonder: is it because David is in a wheelchair? I would say it is, because why is it everyone else is being served except David? What is advocacy here? Advocacy is all about David and his sister. Under these circumstances, David not being served. And he wants to know why. Okay, this is what advocacy is all about, and who gets involved. Well, David and his sister start the ball rolling, and they could then extend it to those around them and to their parents. Okay. Why is it necessary? Because something very wrong is taking place. David is not being served any snacks. He’s the only one who is not being served any snacks. And why is this? We want to find out. How do you get involved in advocacy? Again, it’s by enlisting the help of those around you and your parents, in this case. Okay, so this is how one gets involved in advocacy. It all starts with the person who is experiencing a problem, or what’s going on. When do you do it? When it directly affects you. This directly affects David and his sister, who notices. The advice that I would give is that David and his sister should start speaking up, or at least ask the question, why is David not being served any snacks? Silence from the service is not an answer. So we gotta dig deeper here.

Donna Jodhan: Let’s go to the third story, and here we go. Okay. A caregiver refuses to serve a person who is vision impaired. Yes, indeed. Caregivers do have their whims and fancies, don’t they? Bonnie was a patient in a long-term care home. Not only was she vision impaired, but she had a mental disability. And on this day, Bonnie’s daughter noticed that the caregiver had refused to serve her mom. When the daughter asked the caregiver for an explanation, the caregiver simply turned and walked away. She did not respond to the question. So what’s going on here? Bonnie’s a patient. Bonnie is entitled to be served like every other patient. The daughter notices that Bonnie is not being served. She asks the question. The caregiver turns and walks away, just like that. Okay, so what’s going on? What would you advise the daughter to do? Your mum is not being served. You ask the question, why is mum not being served her meal? And the caregiver has the unmitigated nerve to simply turn and walk away.

Donna Jodhan: So advocacy is all about advocating for your mum to receive care, to receive service — that being her meal, to be served to her by the caregiver. Who gets involved in advocacy? Well, it’s going to be Bonnie’s daughter, because Bonnie can’t really advocate independently on her own, so the daughter has to pick up the ball and start rolling with it. Okay. Why is it necessary? Because Bonnie is not being served, and the daughter knows this is it. We want to know why. Okay. How do you get involved in advocacy? Well, first of all, Bonnie’s daughter asked the question, why is my mom not being served? She gets no answer from the caregiver. So what is her next step? Her next step is to go to the administrator of the long-term care home. This is not acceptable, and we want an answer. Why is Bonnie not being served her meals? Bonnie cannot advocate on her own because she has a bit of a mental disability. She’s also vision impaired. But if she were only vision impaired, on her own and able to stand up for herself, this is where it would start, and the daughter would fall in behind her. But in this case, it is the daughter who has to pick up the mantle and start advocating for her mum. Okay. When do you get involved in advocacy? At a time like this, there’s no other way.

Donna Jodhan: This is it for me for this month, the month of July. I want to thank you for dropping by to listen to me. Keep your stories coming to me, and write to me at donnajodhan@gmail.com. That’s donnajodhan@gmail.com. Take care now. Have a good rest of the month, and see you in August. Bye for now.

Podcast Commentator: Donna wants to hear from you and invites you to write to her at donnajodhan@gmail.com. Until next time.

Donna J. Jodhan, LLB, ACSP, MBA
Global Leader In Disability Rights, Digital Accessibility, And Inclusive Policy Reform
Turning policy into progress for people with disabilities.